Nathan BinfordIdentity is overrated. I recall vividly how obsessed I used to be about all the little choices I made -every preference of taste in music or clothing or some other inconsequential aspect of life- and what they said about me as a person. Identity felt essential to personhood for most of my life but I’ve come to realize that this obsession with identity is, ultimately, a self-limiting behavior that doesn’t particularly serve our interests.
What’s more, society has turned our identities against us, weaponizing the pursuit of individuation by substituting meaningful self-actualization with “being seen”. The quest to “find yourself” in your youth is supposed to be an exploration of individual expression but Western society has turned self-expression into a battleground for the culture war and a transhumanist wet dream.
Gnostics believe that reality is a mental / spiritual prison, created by the demiurge to trap us and convert us into its energetic slaves. In much the same way, modern beliefs about personal identity form a prison of isolation where despite our overwhelming similarities, we feel artificially separate and alone, giving our energy to ideologies and “causes” to find meaning in our lives instead of personal achievement or service to community.
Being put in a box in this way, especially if you remain confined to this identity forever, is no favor to you; and thus, being “seen” is no great accomplishment. Any identity based on social acceptance is a poor substitution for actually being and doing whatever you want in the world.
What do you know today about the person that you’ll want to become tomorrow?
If you think back in time five years, could you have predicted your life today, much less the future beyond tomorrow? It seems unlikely. I certainly couldn’t have predicted the last five years of my life!
Identity is a trap that pulls us in while we’re young and on a quest for individuation. As we accomplish this quest and find our young selves though, we lack the rites of passage that force us back inwards and into the service of each other within a community. Our aggressive, youthful tendencies towards individuation are never sufficiently fulfilled nor are they checked by experiences that teach collectivist values. We don’t earn the right to hunt for the tribe or face ego death in psychedelic experiences anymore. Most of us don’t face serious challenges in our formative teen years (though perhaps we should).
Instead we’re divided by geography and class and taught to group ourselves by ideological alignment. And this is reinforced as we gain all-important status and acknowledgement through these affiliations that make up our so-called identity.
Nowhere is the outlier valued, the free thinker encouraged, or the separatist admired for being courageously different. And neither are the bonds of true connection: as neighbors, despite ideological differences; as friends, across political boundaries; or as allies, for the common good. Identity has become who you are associated with rather than who you are authentically as a person.
We emerge from this programming believing that we are what happens to us, how we align politically, and which category we fit into socially. We think our aesthetics and social status are our identity, rather than our dreams, the actions we take, and the connections we form throughout life.
Yet in many of our favorite fictions, the protagonist is an unlikely hero, removed from their circumstances and stripped of their assumptions about themselves, who discovers that they are capable of much more than they originally thought themselves to be. We crave this fictional dynamic because of its underlying truth; that we are not defined by the past, merely informed by it. We’re not limited by who we’ve been, or what people think about us; only what we believe about ourselves.
Change your mind, change your world
Identity is nothing but a series of beliefs; and we can change our mind at any time.
Not that it’s “that easy” or anything; but it is very possible and it doesn’t take a very long time. Without realizing it you’ve probably drifted so far away from the life you were living three or four years ago that much of it is unrecognizable. Imagine what’s possible to achieve if you’re highly motivated and intentional about your evolution. They say you can pick up a new habit in twenty-one days, and I know from personal experience that you can change the course of your entire life in 18 months (or less).
Depending on the belief, the structure of your life, and the kind of radical changes you’re willing to make, you can probably achieve dramatic results in less time than you think. But getting over our self-limiting beliefs is the first and often the most challenging step.
The key to this is what I call “dying a little death”, meaning letting old aspects of yourself go in rituals which consume and transmute these energies so that you can easily release them from your energy field.
This is the work of the West, which is associated with the river Styx in Greek mythology, where the dead cross into the Underworld. In the cosmovision of the Amazon and the Andes, the western direction is associated with the jaguar that walks along the river and hunts the weak and dying to transfer them to the underworld by consuming them.
This is the energy which brings on a transformation of identity; to reforge our sense of self in the crucible of regeneration, allowing us to emerge refreshed (like a phoenix) on the other side of the journey.
Energetically, it’s no small thing to sacrifice your old self on the altar of the future. Physically, these types of rituals can be deceptively simple but the thing about rituals is that their very purpose is to turn something simple and mundane into something supernatural; so don’t underestimate them. Even simple rituals can be profoundly powerful when invested with enough emotional energy.
Last year, as part of my training as a shamanic energy healer, I performed a ritual to get rid of some parts of myself that were (obviously) holding me back from stepping into my new life and thriving in it. It was a simple ceremony but its effects were very impressive, so I’ll share two versions of a similar ritual with you here for inspiration, if this topic is resonating with you.
A Fire Ritual In The West
First make a list of all the words that come to mind when you think about the parts of yourself that are holding you back. If you’re struggling with impostor syndrome, for example, then write down all of the beliefs about your qualifications: “I’m a fraud”, “I’m weaker than the competition”, “I’m an amateur”, etc. Avoid the use of “not”, like “I’m not an expert”, for simplicity later.
You’re going to spend some time with each belief, a minute or more, so you want to try and keep it under 30 items, so cull any redundant statements and combine some items to keep the list manageable.
Now find a place to build a fire. Real fires are best but, if you simply cannot build a fire, you can pour some large grain sea salt in the bottom of a pyrex bowl and add a small amount of alcohol to the salt and this will provide a small, manageable fire that you can work with (if you’re quick).
If you’re building a fire the old fashioned way (definitely recommended), you should gather a pile of small sticks to use as kindling. Gather more sticks than you have items in your list.
If you’re just doing the fire in a bowl thing I mentioned, then cut or tear strips of paper and copy your list of beliefs so that each one is on a different strip of paper.
To begin, open the ceremony by recognizing the four directions, the Earth, Sun, Moon, and the Star Nations while creating a magical circle around yourself.
I give two example rituals at the bottom of this post that you can use for inspiration, depending on your style (neoshamanic or neopagan):
[PERFORM RITUAL OPENING (see bottom of post)]
Sit at the fire, facing West. Now for each belief, close your eyes, and remember a time when you felt strongly affected by that belief, and sit with it for a moment. Then imagine this aspect of your life staying with you, limiting your potential, until the end of your life. Imagine yourself dying without ever having changed this belief.
Take a deep breath and blow this awareness into one of the sticks, or the piece of paper with this belief written on it, with all the feeling and emotion you’re experiencing. Send all of the energy related to this belief with your breath into the stick or strip of paper. Do this for each belief in your list, building a fire stick-by-stick (or a little pile of balled up pieces of paper).
[PERFORM RITUAL PETITION]
Say a prayer to Mother Earth, and to the Guardian of the West, to receive your intentions and then light the fire and watch it burn with all your focus and intention. Really try to feel the release; the subtle diminishing of energy that builds to a crescendo. Cry, laugh, sweat, it out, etc. Give your energy to the intention in any way that feels right and keep it up for 10 minutes, if you can.
Watch the fire burn down and then put it safely out by burying the coals and pouring water over it (just let the alcohol burn off for a few minutes and blow it out). Then close the ritual.
[PERFORM RITUAL CLOSING]
After closing the ritual and putting out the fire all that’s left is to step into your new life. It takes some days, or potentially even a week or two, but soon you’ll notice the changes taking place in your psyche, your behavior, and eventually your everyday life. But it’s necessary to walk away from the ritual with a combination of confidence and forgetfulness.
To avoid negating the effects of your magic it is essential not to obsess about if it’s working or not. Walk away from the ritual and immediately do something grounding and very different in nature. Distract yourself and just begin living as if you expect the changes to arrive at the appropriate time. You’ll find things do start to change fairly quickly. And, if not, you can always repeat the ritual and will yourself to let go of those old beliefs, little by little.
Many “Little Deaths”
Visiting the Underworld gives us the power to shed outdated aspects of ourselves. It can be so freeing to update ourselves, to refresh our personalities and beliefs, fashioning a new “identity” that fits us in the moment, that it’s worth considering making it an annual practice.
Putting aspects of our personalities, identities, etc. in the fire regularly makes it so much easier not to cling to old, outdated beliefs. It frees us from the rigidity of old dogma and outdated perspectives. It allows us to grow and evolve as individuals -to transcend the life we’re living today and create the life we want.
It’s hard work, spiritually, to visit the Underworld and leave our baggage behind. It’s more challenging to let go of the past than any of us care to admit but through this practice we can learn to manage the emotional residue of our lives. We can heal our trauma, process our karma, and transmute our energy into more positive vibrations.
By turning our prior selves to ash, metaphorically, we speed up these processes, catapulting ourselves forward when we need to shake things up and force some personal evolution. Through ritual and intention we have the power to change ourselves -to remake ourselves- and our situations, simply by changing our minds.
Neoshamanic Fire Ceremony In The West
*inspired by my teacher Alberto Villodo of the Four Winds Institute
Opening
[Facing South]
Wind of the South, Sachamama, wrap me in your coils of light
Teach me to shed the past the way you shed your skin
Hold me close to the Earth, belly to belly with the Mother
That I may know her as she truly is, and know myself better for it.
Aho.
[Facing West]
Wind of the West, Otorongo, Mother Jaguar, protect me in this medicine circle
Teach me how to be the warrior of light
To follow the river into the Underworld
And to be reborn with knowledge and power
Aho
[Facing North]
Wind of the North, Siwar Kenti, Royal Hummingbird,
Connect me to my ancestors and lineages of power
Help me make the great journey of my life
And show me the sweetest nectar along way
Aho
[Facing East]
Wind of the East, Great Eagle, come to me from the place of the rising Sun
Show me how to soar over the mountains I have always seen as obstacles
And fly side-by-side with the Great Spirit
Aho
[Kneeling and touching the Earth facing South]
Pachamama, Mama Tierra, Great Mother
I thank you for life and love and regeneration
For all the creatures of the world, stone and plant, two and four legged, creepy crawler
Finned, furred, and winged ones, Mother, I thank you for all my brethren
Aho
[Standing with eyes and arms raised to the Heavens facing South]
Inti, Father Sun, Mama Kia, Grandmother Moon, Star Nations, thank you for your light and your guidance
Great Spirit, creator of the Universe, you who are known by many names in many places, and are still ineffable and inconceivable
Thank you for bringing me here to sing the song of life again today
Aho
Petition
[Facing West]
Pachamama, great Mother, source of life, love, and regeneration, I ask you to bless and empower this ritual
Otorongo, Mother Jaguar, Consume me. Turn me into dirt. Carry me to the Underworld so that I may return again renewed. Take these parts of myself as offerings to the Earth. I release all the energy that no longer serves me and I give it to our Mother
Closing
[Facing South]
Wind of the South, Sachamama, thank you for showing me how to live close to the Earth
Thank you for helping me learn to live as one of our Mother’s creatures
Aho
[Facing West]
Wind of the West, Otorongo, Mother Jaguar, thank you for your protection
Thank you for guiding me into the Underworld and returning me safely once again
Aho
[Facing North]
Wind of the North, Siwar Kenti, Royal Hummingbird, thank you for guiding me on my great journey
And for always helping me find the sweetest nectar along the way.
Aho
[Facing East]
Wind of the East, Great Eagle, thank you for bringing me the energy of the rising Sun
Thank you for helping me rise above and see the world from a new perspective
Aho
[Kneeling and touching the Earth facing South]
Pachamama, Mother, Womb of the Earth
Thank you for the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. Thank you for renewal
Aho
[Standing with eyes and arms raised to the Heavens facing South]
Inti, Father Sun, Mama Kia, Grandmother Moon, Star Nations, thank you for your light and wisdom
Great Spirit, you who are everything and everyone
Thank you for this opportunity to be alive at this time and to experience this evolution
Aho
Neopagan (Hellenistic) Fire Ceremony In The West
Opening
[Facing East]
I call upon the winds and rivers, Earth and Sky.
Eurus and Cocytus, wind and river of the East,
Attend me as the Sun rises.
[Facing South]
Notos and Phelegaton, wind and river of the South,
Attend me at midday.
[Facing West]
Zephyrus and Styx, wind and river of the West,
Attend me as the Sun sets.
[Facing North]
Boreas and Acheron, wind and river of the North,
Attend me in the dead of night.
[Facing East]
Gaia, Mother, Womb of life. I honor you and ask for your blessing.
Selene. Despoina. Triple goddess. I honor you and ask for your blessing.
Helios. Phoebian God. Source of light and life. I honor you and ask for your blessing.
Ourania above, Cthonia below. Rhea from East to West.
Khaire, khaire, khaire.
Petition
[Facing West]
Hermes Psychopompos. Carry me across the river Styx. Take me to the shores of Hades and return me once again, renewed and reborn. I offer these parts of myself in tribute to Hades and his Queen that they may grant my safe return.
Closing
[Facing East]
I thank and honor the winds and rivers, Earth and Sky.
Eurus and Cocytus, wind and river of the East,
Thank you for your protection and blessing.
[Facing South]
Notos and Phelegaton, wind and river of the South,
Thank you for your protection and blessing.
[Facing West]
Zephyrus and Styx, wind and river of the West,
Thank you for your protection and blessing.
[Facing North]
Boreas and Acheron, wind and river of the North,
Thank you for your protection and blessing.
[Facing East]
Gaia, Mother, I honor and thank you for your attendance and blessing.
Selene. Beautiful shining Mene (moon), I honor and thank you for your attendance and blessing.
Helios. Phoebus. Bright one. I honor and thank you for your attendance and blessing.
Ourania above, Cthonia below. Rhea from horizon to horizon.
Khaire, khaire, khaire.
Nathan Binford
